The "I"s have it...(click here)

the Teleprompter President?

Red Neck special forces

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)

These mostly Southern boys who will be dropped into Afghanistan and will be given only the following facts about the Taliban and terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Afghanistan to be over by Friday.

Applications to be in the special unit are available at your local Wal-Mart sporting goods counter.

The real State of The Union

What IS the state of the union?

Listed below are facts and figures that have changed over the past year.

Unemployment rate
2008: 7.6%
2009: 10%

Total number of people unemployed
2008: 11,400,000
2009: 15,267,000

Number of federal employees
2008: 1,900,000
2009: 2,229,000

Average federal employee salary
2008: $71,206
2009: $74,403

U.S. Median Income for a four person family
2008: $67,019
2009: $70,354

Total value of U.S. GDP
2008: $14.33 trillion
2009: $14.57 trillion

US Dollar vs. Chinese Yuan
2008 avg.: $0.15 to 1 Yuan
2009 avg.: $0.15 to 1 Yuan

US Dollar vs. Euro
2008 avg.: $1.35 to 1 euro
2009 avg.: $1.46 to 1 euro

Average spending per registered lobbyist
2008: $58,230.00
2009: $63,226.00

Cost of a barrel of oil
2008: $44.60
2009: $79.36

Average price for a gallon of gas
2008: $1.840
2009: $2.695

Guns sold in the U.S., ammo sold
2008: 12,709,023, 7-10 billion rounds
2009: 14,033,824, 12 billion rounds

Number of public-sector union members
2008: 7,832,000
2009: 7,900,000

Number of private-sector union members
2008: 8,265,000
2009: 7,431,000

Number of failed banks bailed out by FDIC
2008: 25
2009: 140

Total number of corporate bankruptcies
2008: 138
2009: 207

Number of personal bankruptcies
2008: 1,074,225
2009: 1,402,816

Average home price
2008: $292,600
2009: $268,733

Federal hate crime cases prosecuted by the Justice Dept.
2008: 23
2009: 25 (second highest ever, after 2001)

Divorce Rate
2008: 3.5 divorces per 1000 people
2009: 3.4 divorces per 1000 people

Number of movies watched, Total ticket sales
2008: 1,370,000,000 (tickets sold); 9,850,000,000 (revenue)
2009: 1,460,000,000 (tickets sold); 10,490,000,000 (revenue)

Visits to the White House

Total Visits by Banking and Finance C.E.O.’s: 31

Total Visits by Labor Union Bosses: 29

Total Visits by Energy C.E.O.’s: 15

DailyCaller.com

Kinder prompter

I could not make this up. The teleprompter President struck a home run with this one..I quote the AP article..
"President Barack Obama, accompanied by Education Secretary Arne Duncan, speaks to the media after a discussion with 6th grade students at Graham Road Elementary School in Falls Church, Va., Tuesday, Jan. 19, 2010."